Struggling As An Expat? 5 Tips To Change Your Perspective

If you do a quick Pinterest search on expat tips, several blogs will pop up, telling of all the wonderful reasons why everyone should consider being an expat. Sure, I would also agree that there are amazing aspects of living overseas. There are also a lot of very tough aspects. It’s normal to experience times when you are struggling as an expat. For some, the struggles are a sign that it is time to move on. You’ve had adventures, you’ve experienced and have gained appreciation for different cultures and people, but now you are ready to move back to your passport country. Or maybe move on to a different country. But for others, the normal struggles of expat life are a sign of much-needed rest and a change in perspective.

Why Is it So Hard To Be An Expat?

Expat life is by no means sunshine and lollipops. I’d imagine that extroverts naturally thrive a lot more easily than introverts, but I wouldn’t know since I am very much an introvert. There is a certain level of willingness to feel uncomfortable that all expats must possess. Introverts might struggle to naturally have that level. For me, I must constantly be pushed to reach that level of willingness. Often, when my discomfort tolerance is too low, I find myself struggling as an expat the most.

For some, struggles come because there are hard times back at home and you feel the need to be with the people you love. This can cast a dark cloud over your emotions and influence your view of the people, culture, and experiences in your host country. For others, your expat life has hit some rough patches. Maybe good friends are leaving, your boss is not being fair, or you are encountering health problems. No matter if you are living in your passport country or your host country, there will always be times when the grass looks greener on the other side. Life is hard, and hardships don’t stop no matter what time zone you are in or what language you are speaking.

So what can be done when you begin struggling as an expat? Sure, you could go around complaining about how horrible your host country is, how wrong they do things, and how you just wish you could get out. You could also cut yourself off from people and stay at home or simply only interact with other expats. Don’t get me wrong—I’ve tried both of these tips and it did temporarily make my expat experience better. In the long run, however, I had to get over my self-centered thoughts and find new perspective. Here are some expat tips that I’ve done to change my perspective in the past two decades of overseas living.

5 Tips To Help Change Your Perspective When you Are Tired Of Being An Expat

#1 Go Out With Friends.

Ask a friend to grab a coffee, go to dinner, or even just go for a walk and tell them you are struggling. Don’t believe that you are the only person who has ever gotten tired of being an expat. They will understand—believe me. Chances are they have also struggled with the same aspect. If they have, they probably have some great insight into ways to help change your perspective. Even if they don’t have some earth-shattering advice, talking about problems or frustrations is an amazing way to help you cope. Together you could brainstorm some ideas to get over the issue. Sometimes just talking about it for a while will help you feel less alone with your struggle.

#2 Add to Your Bucket List. Be a Tourist!

When you first move overseas, there is often a sense of adventure, a desire to see and explore your host country and to visit all the tourist spots. As time goes on, work, school, your family, or the need to simply survive in a different country often consumes most of your time, and the tourist spots get forgotten. If family or friends come to visit, you sometimes will go back to those tourist spots to show them around, but there are still plenty of places to see and experience. Take some time to research the best tourist spots around or, better yet, the hidden gems. Then, go, explore and once again be in awe of the amazing country you are living in.

Recently, my husband and I took our five young kids on an “around-the-island” bucket list trip. We went to three cities in southern Taiwan that we hadn’t been to yet. It was so much fun exploring new parts of the island together. For the most part, we understood how things operated. We knew how to order food and pay for parking, and I even ordered some vitamins online that were delivered to me. Because we already knew those types of things, it freed us to be able to explore and appreciate aspects of Taiwan that were new to us. We visited amazing beaches, ate yummy food, and explored the cutest neighborhood that had little snail statues hidden throughout the small alleys. I walked away from that trip thinking, “Only in Taiwan would they create a snail scavenger hunt for people to enjoy!”

#3 Get Out in Nature.

According to Dr. Liji Thomas,

Many studies have shown that experiencing nature enhances working memory, restores focused attention, relieves fear and stress, and produces beneficial reductions in heart rate, blood pressure, and cortisol levels.

https://www.news-medical.net/news/20220908/How-does-a-walk-in-nature-impact-the-brain.aspx

For my family, we enjoy hiking in the mountains or playing in the water near a waterfall. There are always so many new things to see when out in nature. We have even done some geocaching together, which was a lot of fun! Often our kids will come back with special sticks or rocks that they have found on our adventures. It really is a great time to be together, and we come home feeling refreshed.

Note: This is not simply an expat tip. Since science has been shown to help our bodies, this tip can be used wherever you live!

#4 Find a New Restaurant or Go to a Special Restaurant.

When we lived in Taipei, we lived in one of the best neighborhoods. We were in between two universities and close to several bus stops and metro stations. When you are fortunate enough to live in one of these types of neighborhoods, you are also blessed with a plethora of cheap restaurant options. We knew from talking with friends who lived in other parts of the city that we had it really good. We could eat anything we wanted within a ten-minute walk. Western, Chinese, Thai, Korean, Japanese, Indian—not to mention each type of food had multiple restaurant options. Do you want family style, take out only, individual portions? Low, mid, high budget? You get the picture. It was amazing.

Three years ago, we moved about thirty minutes outside the city to a city that had a lot of new construction going on. Whoo. Let me tell you, when a large part of the land is still being developed, the variety of restaurants will not be there yet. In the beginning, we often complained that there were only three types of restaurants around us—and they all served Chinese food. Talk about a drastic change! And my bad attitude was VERY evident. I was definitely struggling as an expat. I just wanted to be back in our old apartment with all the conveniences we had before.

As we started to find new places to get the food that we (read: our kids) enjoyed eating, life slowly got better. After being here three years, we are still finding new restaurants, and each time my heart breathes a sigh of relief.

On date nights, my husband and I will often go to Gordon Biersch. There is something about menus with proper grammar, accurately vivid descriptions, and western portions (AND prices—EEK!) that refreshes my soul (not to mention the quality time with just my husband!).

#5 Go to a Familiar Place.

When we lived in Taipei, our apartment was a five-minute walk from the biggest university in Taiwan. It was our happy place. My newborn babies would lie on a blanket while the older kids played. My three older kids learned to ride a bike there. They would climb trees, or we would venture there to play when we needed to get out of the house. Not to say that it always provided easy, stress-free play; but it was familiar, and everyone was (usually) happy. We knew where the bathrooms were and where to look for lost tennis balls. And we always came home sharing about our adventures.

Find your happy place. Go there. Let your mind think and ponder about what you are struggling with. Or simply go to escape all your struggles. Even if you’re struggling as an expat, going to a familiar place will help your mind and soul reset.

Don’t Give Up Quickly.

No matter how long your expat career lasts, you will always encounter times when you struggle. Don’t give up quickly; know that struggles are par for the expat course and it’s okay. It’s by no means an easy life. Give it some time. Try these tips, and if you are still struggling as an expat, that’s okay too. You’ve been blessed with so many experiences that others may never have. You can return to your passport country knowing that your life has been forever changed.

I’d love to hear from you. What are your expat tips that you share with others?